This is for those in the blogosphere who struggle with guilt, and an inability to forgive themselves for the life they’ve led and for the people they’ve hurt. It is a wonderful place to have arrived at when we can feel remorse and realize that we will never repeat our hurtful behaviours. It is a terrible place to be anchored to when remorse and right action is accompanied by the heavy weight of guilt. Guilt comes from an idea that preaches our inherent evil, that says we have to pay penance for our ‘crimes’, that we have to earn love, that we can never do enough to repay society and the people that we’ve wounded. Guilt, like every other belief, is just an idea. It isn’t real.
I used to believe in all sorts of nonsense about Life, God, and the rules of human social behaviour, and all that nonsense was taught to me by my parents, my religion, my community and the numerous schools I attended. Over time, I learned something profound. I discovered that beliefs, ideas, thoughts; they are all just constructs, like Lego pieces. They have no real substance, and they vanish into thin air when we tire of them. New cultures, new religions, new social dogmas, the places we go when our current beliefs no longer serve us, are no more than different Lego constructs.
In my own journey towards God, I learned to look within myself to a place far beyond the mind and its over-stuffed warehouse of ideas. There I found the True Self, the God that had no resemblance to the one of the religious books that I had been exposed to. I found that the divinity I had sensed amidst all the nonsensical beliefs of the world was actually within me. In moving my mind directly into that Truth I saw the lies of the world, the dream that we are living. I understood that when we remove all of our beliefs, we are pure and beautiful, and extremely simple beings. I learned that we do not have to search for divinity. We are IT already. We do not have to seek redemption for the bad things we’ve done; we just have to remove the beliefs that made us do those things in the first place. Our beliefs are not who we are. Divinity is who we are. Beliefs are just a game that we play and when we find ourselves in trouble, we simply stop living that belief.
Love is already who we are, we do not have to earn it. We don’t have to say mantras, feed the poor or say a thousand Hail Marys. We do not have to seek forgiveness. We are already beautiful and perfect. We simply have to let go of our unkind beliefs – beliefs that make us ugly on the outside, that make us hate ourselves and in turn, hate others. Beliefs are akin to clothes; they can be put on and removed at any time.
Having said all of this, I have to add that I also learned that we cannot be taught by other people about God, about our divinity. My word is inadequate; all I can do is relate my experience. To know God and to know true self-love, we have to enter into the direct experience of the Truth. For those who carry guilt, for those who are desperately trying to get out of a dark experience of feeling stuck, I urge you to move into the space of the inner world and find God inside. There is no technique, no process. All that is required is that you find a moment in which to be quiet and in that space drop every belief you have ever had. Be brave enough to do that. When you finally reconnect to the essence of love, you will find it impossible to hurt yourself, let alone others. Beliefs are games in which we become entrenched, believing we have to do something deeply meaningful to free ourselves of them. The situations that we find ourselves in are God’s way to get you to confront them. All that is required is that you let go.